When I first started derby, I couldn't figure out how to get through years of aggression counseling to bring myself to hit another human being...that I wasn't even necessarily angry with....even when they would hit me first!
MOAB and I had many discussions early on about this conundrum. How DO you hit these girls you have grown to know and love like family? Generally girls aren't raised to show aggression in this way. We cry, clean, go for a run, go retail therapy and the like. But HIT? WHAT?
And it's not just hitting correctly either...it's just hitting, bumping, hip checking, booty blocking, marking someone up...
We finally realized that we would RATHER have our sisters hitting us and us hitting them in return (to learn how to give and take) than learning it the hard way: in the midst of a scrimmage or bout against other girls who could give two shits less about us at the time. Girls whose main goal was to knock us down and win. It was better to receive pain and bruises out of love than out of competition.
So having properly psychoanalyzed the whole issue, next it was time for us to put it into motion. Poor MOAB cried the first several times. Because....well...MOAB has a soft heart...but a VERY hard hit! So it kind of evens her out.
Me? I still couldn't get past the mental block. Even when Demanda Chaos and EM-80 where knocking the CRAP outta me to get me to hit (I had bruises on TOP OF bruises) I still just couldn't bring myself to do it!
What finally DID get me to hit (albeit not very well)? Elbow MacPhearson. Sweet Elbow. The nicest, sweetest gal you will ever meet. That is UNTIL she gets on the track! Then you can only hope and pray she is on your team when you are scrimmaging in practice. Because she is a bulldog! And don't even get me started on those sharp-ass shoulders of hers!
We were scrimmaging in practice one fine evening when we used to skate at the Val Air Ballroom (shout out to Chewi!). Elbow was Pivot, I was her 2 and the other team (MOAB and co) was all over us! That's when that sweet, sweet Elbow turned back to look at me. I was scared. Gone was the dimples and fresh face I had grown to know. In its place was a snarl. Her eyes were set and looked like laser beams could start shooting out of them at any time. Her posture was that of a jungle cat getting ready to pounce on it's prey. She then growled these three words that I will never forget, "F*%$ing HIT SOMEBODY!"
I meekly thought "okay" and drove my shoulder into whoever was on my right. Then I skated up next to Elbow and looked at her, awaiting my next instruction from the Master aka Elbow.
Seeing her getting pummeled and ganged up on and realizing that I was responsible for part of it, made me also realize that I NEEDED to learn to hit in some fashion. Or else block really well. Something. Because otherwise, my team would not be able to count on me. And then I would essentially be an empty uniform out there. Skating for myself alone. And what purpose would that serve? I may as well just not play roller derby and just spend my time going to open skate, right? Right!
So the other night when some of the fresh meat (possibly my little derby sister, Cassie) mentioned the hitting conundrum to me, I shared some of these insights with her.
So go out there and hit a bitch! Before Elbow pounces on you!
Sunday, December 19, 2010
Thursday, November 18, 2010
Tub Thumping
5 lb. Fall, a jammer for the Wisconsin River Valley Roller Girls stands about three apples high, on skates. Her roll out song is Tubthumpin' by Chumbawumba (I get knocked down, but I get up again...). When we first heard that was her song, D3 had just played them the night before (and won!). It was true...she got knocked down..A LOT! But she DID get right back up and go after the points again every single time. That's just what derby girls do. On the track and off.
This is where roller derby is a lot like life. And if it isn't yet, then you can sure learn from it and implement it into your life, DAMMIT!
When we get knocked down in life, we get right back up again and keep going. Usually with a bunch of help from our derby family. And maybe some beer. Okay, maybe a lot of beer.
I think the types of girls that are attracted to derby are the same kinds that are able to pull themselves up by their bootstraps when the going gets tough and just keep on keepin on. Since that's what we have to do on the track as well.
I can't tell you how many girls will practice and play while they are hurt and in pain. No, seriously, I can't tell you. Cuz then I would have to kill you.
In the last year, my derby sisters have gone through divorce, hooking up, make ups, break ups, broken bones, torn ligaments, sick kids, long-lasting viruses, floods, evictions, work/life balance, derby/work/life balance, derby/work/life/school balance, career changes, and many other woes. Every time the girls have bounced right back as soon as they could.
Derby girls are the strongest-willed women I have ever seen. Which is great, because I am too. So I kinda fit in. And it causes me to have constant adoration for the rest of my teammates.
Believe it or not, with all of that stubborn estrogen, we are still just a huge family. Yes, we could even be classified as a dysfunctional family. But we take care of our own and anything else that comes up.
So lesson #1 on how life is like derby:
You WILL get knocked down (and sometimes up) in life, but you can (and will) get right back up again.
This is where roller derby is a lot like life. And if it isn't yet, then you can sure learn from it and implement it into your life, DAMMIT!
When we get knocked down in life, we get right back up again and keep going. Usually with a bunch of help from our derby family. And maybe some beer. Okay, maybe a lot of beer.
I think the types of girls that are attracted to derby are the same kinds that are able to pull themselves up by their bootstraps when the going gets tough and just keep on keepin on. Since that's what we have to do on the track as well.
I can't tell you how many girls will practice and play while they are hurt and in pain. No, seriously, I can't tell you. Cuz then I would have to kill you.
In the last year, my derby sisters have gone through divorce, hooking up, make ups, break ups, broken bones, torn ligaments, sick kids, long-lasting viruses, floods, evictions, work/life balance, derby/work/life balance, derby/work/life/school balance, career changes, and many other woes. Every time the girls have bounced right back as soon as they could.
Derby girls are the strongest-willed women I have ever seen. Which is great, because I am too. So I kinda fit in. And it causes me to have constant adoration for the rest of my teammates.
Believe it or not, with all of that stubborn estrogen, we are still just a huge family. Yes, we could even be classified as a dysfunctional family. But we take care of our own and anything else that comes up.
So lesson #1 on how life is like derby:
You WILL get knocked down (and sometimes up) in life, but you can (and will) get right back up again.
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
Derby Therapy...Cancelled
One from the archives:
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
You know it's a boring day when I post a blog thingy twice.
So derby practice was el cancelled last night (which, for those of you who are bilingually challenged, means: the cancelled). A lot of us really really needed it. And by needed it, I mean we wanted to kick some ass and get our asses kicked all at the same time....
What's that you say?
That is not possible...oh yes it is my friend. Oh. yes. it. is.
You see, my coach love, love, loves derby. And even more than that, I think she love, love, loves to try to kill me. In the same way that I love, love, love to try to mess with people...only when I do it there is waaaay less sweat, blood, bruises, and tears.
For a while I thought she might be the anti-christ. BUT then I realized that she wants us to be grrrrreat!, like Frosted Flakes. And I don't really want to argue with someone whose biceps are bigger than my head or who can remain in the derby stance for hours and days on end. Because that scares me. Someone that can do that.
In fact, that is a grrrre-ATE way to judge if someone can totally whoop you. If they can keep their knees bent like that. For very very long periods of time. I mean INSANELY long periods of time. And it's in such a stance that my legs would be cramping up within a few short milliseconds.
Seriously, she is a really good coach, though. Because if she wasn't, she wouldn't have that ability to stand like that. And now she's trying to teach ME to stand like that...on skates...and skate like that. Which I can now do...for a little while.
So, as I said, we (the team) totally needed practice last night. Because BF was a wrestler in high school, so trying out derby moves on him ends up getting me pinned and smacked in the forehead. Repeatedly. And he was in the Army so he knows all this other survival crap AND as if all that isn't enough to make me feel inferior he also used to do some martial arts class that I am pretty sure taught him the five-finger death punch. AND then, get this, the jerk can roller skate like a flippin swan! So I pretty much have nothing left on him. Dammit.
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
You know it's a boring day when I post a blog thingy twice.
So derby practice was el cancelled last night (which, for those of you who are bilingually challenged, means: the cancelled). A lot of us really really needed it. And by needed it, I mean we wanted to kick some ass and get our asses kicked all at the same time....
What's that you say?
That is not possible...oh yes it is my friend. Oh. yes. it. is.
You see, my coach love, love, loves derby. And even more than that, I think she love, love, loves to try to kill me. In the same way that I love, love, love to try to mess with people...only when I do it there is waaaay less sweat, blood, bruises, and tears.
For a while I thought she might be the anti-christ. BUT then I realized that she wants us to be grrrrreat!, like Frosted Flakes. And I don't really want to argue with someone whose biceps are bigger than my head or who can remain in the derby stance for hours and days on end. Because that scares me. Someone that can do that.
In fact, that is a grrrre-ATE way to judge if someone can totally whoop you. If they can keep their knees bent like that. For very very long periods of time. I mean INSANELY long periods of time. And it's in such a stance that my legs would be cramping up within a few short milliseconds.
Seriously, she is a really good coach, though. Because if she wasn't, she wouldn't have that ability to stand like that. And now she's trying to teach ME to stand like that...on skates...and skate like that. Which I can now do...for a little while.
So, as I said, we (the team) totally needed practice last night. Because BF was a wrestler in high school, so trying out derby moves on him ends up getting me pinned and smacked in the forehead. Repeatedly. And he was in the Army so he knows all this other survival crap AND as if all that isn't enough to make me feel inferior he also used to do some martial arts class that I am pretty sure taught him the five-finger death punch. AND then, get this, the jerk can roller skate like a flippin swan! So I pretty much have nothing left on him. Dammit.
Derby vs. Snow
From my blog archives:
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
Ok so I am totally stoked about roller derby season. I was so focused on making every single practice. I was all, "I'm gonna skate even with this painful blood blister cuz I am one tough derby bitch!" Oh yeah! Leg whips, regular whips, hip checks, bruises...BRING IT!
Then snow happened. And I just don't drive in this shit. And now I have totally stripped myself of all tough derby bitchness. (No, NOT bitchiness....BITCH-NESS).
Because I am a sissy when it comes to driving in bad weather. I have debilitating panic attacks as soon as any type of cold weather precipitation hits the pavement.
So basically I am not scared of getting hit by some derby chick or breaking a leg in a bout...but the thought of merely driving on ice or snow makes me want to barf. Makes my heart try to crawl its way up my chest and escape through my tongue. By beating alone.
That all happens over bridges as well. A combo that was inevitable tonight...but at least BF was driving. I was hyperventilating into my coat and trying to scratch the skin off his hand.
He would have totally driven me back to practice too, but I don't think my nerves could handle it. Being pushed around a flat track, yes. Driving in the snow...not so much.
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
Ok so I am totally stoked about roller derby season. I was so focused on making every single practice. I was all, "I'm gonna skate even with this painful blood blister cuz I am one tough derby bitch!" Oh yeah! Leg whips, regular whips, hip checks, bruises...BRING IT!
Then snow happened. And I just don't drive in this shit. And now I have totally stripped myself of all tough derby bitchness. (No, NOT bitchiness....BITCH-NESS).
Because I am a sissy when it comes to driving in bad weather. I have debilitating panic attacks as soon as any type of cold weather precipitation hits the pavement.
So basically I am not scared of getting hit by some derby chick or breaking a leg in a bout...but the thought of merely driving on ice or snow makes me want to barf. Makes my heart try to crawl its way up my chest and escape through my tongue. By beating alone.
That all happens over bridges as well. A combo that was inevitable tonight...but at least BF was driving. I was hyperventilating into my coat and trying to scratch the skin off his hand.
He would have totally driven me back to practice too, but I don't think my nerves could handle it. Being pushed around a flat track, yes. Driving in the snow...not so much.
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