Being injured stinks. It makes a derby girl feel disconnected, frustrated, and pissed off.
My body is supposed to be a weapon on the track. I am supposed to be tough.
My body let me down and no matter how much I try to will it to do what I want it to do, it just won't! And that irks me!
I am frustrated that it is taking so long for my knee to decide that it is going to stay in the groove that it was intended to stay in and now it has left my quad weak as hell. Which, as every derby girl knows, is not so good for a good derby stance...or even walking up and down the stairs to do the insurmountable piles of laundry that have built up during the weeks I haven't been able to walk up and down the freakin' stairs. My fault, really, for moving to a split level. Yeah. Bad call on that I guess. Whatever.
The advice I have repeatedly gotten from the doctor, other skaters, coaches and the like are to take it easy. Don't jump back into it only to continually get hurt again and again with the same injury. Give it time to heal. Blah, blah, blah.
I mean, I KNOW they are right. I KNOW I need to give it time to heal. I KNOW that if it still hurts and swells like this that I shouldn't skate. I know that if just trying to cross one leg over the other feels like my knee is going to blow out that I shouldn't....
But I WANT to! I am desperate for it. It's like I am jonesing for it like derby is a drug. I don't think I can survive much longer without putting my skates and stinky pads on and hitting the track with my girls. To be getting my game face on for our season opener in a month.
I want to be in the middle of the action. I want to know what the joke was over there on the pivot line that had the packs cracking up! Did someone drop ass? Did MOAB tell one of her horribly lame, but funny, jokes? Did someone tell Stella to try to keep up (because that never gets old!)?
I want to be learning those skills I see the girls perfecting. They look awesome and I know that even when I get back on skates that I won't be awesome for a while. I want to effing HIT SOMEBODY!
I want to get done with practice and NOT be able to smell the derby girl stench because I smell just as bad. Now all I smell is something similar to cat pee mixed with fried raccoon hair. Ew.
I want! I want! I want!
In the end, I am sure I will wait it out....but just barely. It reminds me of what my OB-GYN told me after I had my second son: the doctors will tell you to wait six weeks after having a baby before you have relations again....hoping you will wait three.
I will be back, I will work hard to catch up, and I will not give up! And maybe, just maybe...I will go up and down the stairs to wash my pads. Maybe.
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Wow, I feel you; I sprained my mcl and I have been going through the EXACT same thing: derby withdrawal ! I've been wishing there was a blog like this bc I feel so isolated and not being able to work out is incredibly depressing when you're used to it. Did you see a dr? Do you have any knee advice? Find any good knee braces?
ReplyDeleteBasically I have knocked knees that are prone to injury. My knee popped out of track and was all over the place instead of in the groove that it is supposed to run in. Mueller makes a pretty good and affordable brace. The one I used is generally referred to as a knee gasket in the derby world. It kept my knee in place but allowed for some motion.
ReplyDeleteThe best advice is to strengthen your quads/thigh muscles because they are what holds your patella and subsequent ligaments and tendons in place. Also good leg stretches, the ones where you can feel your quads stretching but not pulling at your knee uncomfortably.
I also paid attention to what was going on in practice as to not miss anything and helped coach our fresh meat squad which made me feel a bit more connected to the teams. Hope your knee gets better fast!